Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
