Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
