There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
