Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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