And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
