why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
