I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
