Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
