I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
