Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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