i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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