Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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