and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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