This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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