you have to choose: penises or morals?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
