East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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