Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
