Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
