She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
