Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
