Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
