What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
