dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Randomize
