evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
