mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize