I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
