i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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