well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
