what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
