1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
