i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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