I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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