I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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