my soul wont recognize me after tonight
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
This baby is an asshole
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize