I want to make a zoo with you.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
