After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize