Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
