I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
