One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We just shotgunned beers for America
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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