Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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