seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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