What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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