So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize