So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
