she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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