i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
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