Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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