did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
