It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I am spending my child support on dildos
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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