You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
