I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
