So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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