You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
