I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
