we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
