WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
