I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
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