So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I need help removing her.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Sorry about my life...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
