I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
