Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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