In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
